Old Age Home – An Insight From Inside

This post was originally written on Sep 22nd, 2010.
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     I was late for the Old Age home visit organized by Team Everest on September 19th 2010. I reached Rajnikanth Old Age Home at 5.30 PM, by then everything was over and the volunteers were getting ready to leave. I was embarrassed on being late and wanted to do justice to the visit. I decided not to leave with the volunteers, but to stay back and spend some time with the old women.

         

     It was my second visit to the home. I had a very nice time during my first visit. The grand mas made us all sing, laugh and enjoy ; took us back to our childhood days. They also made us cry. Everyone there, had their own story of sorrow. Even a stone heart would melt on hearing those stories. Though i was glad that I had given them a momentary happiness, I had left with a heavy heart, last time.        

     This time it was different, all the volunteers had left and I was the only one in the company of the grandmas. I sat with them in the hall and started talking to them. Some of them remembered me, while some didn’t. I inquired about their health and well being. 

     One of them began to tell me her story.  

     ”I have seen everything in life.. My story will be heavy for anyone to take. You will cry hearing it”. she started

     I didn’t know what to say and she continued.. 

     ”Every woman here has her own story, you can write a book or even make a heart touching movie with their stories”

     ”Even I am a writer ma”  I told her.

     ”Then you can very well write their stories…. without mentioning their names” she smiled. 

     I smiled back. 

     She then began her story, from her birth to the present - all her turmoil and travails, her sufferings and sorrow. I knew my eyes would wet any moment. 

     She had lost her father when she was in her teens. When she was ready for marriage, her relatives intervened and she was married off to a well to do man, as his second wife.  He already had two kids (a girl of six and a boy of four) and so she had decided not to beget any children of her own. Her husband was a very good person and took very good care of her and she took very good care of his children. But as fate would have it, her husband passed away after a few years. She ran the family as a single mother and when time came, managed a grand wedding for both her children.  

        

     She was staying with her son and her daughter in law. Trouble struck when the in-laws came into picture and started frequenting her house. She was constantly ill-fed from then on, her husband’s pension was not given to her and she began to live a life of a servant within her own house. Her daughter in law ill treated and tortured her. She hardly got to eat anything, even once a day.

      She decided to go and live with her daughter, but her experiences there were even worse. She was made to do all household works in spite of her weak body. From cleaning to cooking to all sort of mean work the old woman was forced to do. She could take it no longer and went back to her son’s place, but nothing had changed there as well.

  

      She eventually fled from the house when her son tried to kill her one day (I am not going to explain how he attempted doing it)… Her very own son whom she had brought up since he was four years old, tried to kill her and without a second thought, she left the house!

      She wanted to commit suicide after coming out of the house, not knowing where to go, but wasn’t bold enough to do it.  She finally ended up in the Old Age home after much trouble.

      “I can’t forgive him, I can’t curse him either!” she said, there was tear in her eyes.

      “Don’t, don’t cry mother.. ” I couldn’t speak.

      “He forgot everything I did for him, I was living my life for him, but after his wife came, only that pleasure was important to him.. didnt he know about me..didnt he know how I struggled to bring him up ? Why did he try to kill me?” 

      I had no words to console her. 

      “Its been three years since I came here and nobody knows that I am here, I don’t want them to know too”  

      I was still silently listening to her. 

      ”Now I am happy here though.. these people are taking good care of me. But still somewhere deep, in my heart, I do have a desire to live with my son”

      It was time for me to talk.. I held her hand in mine and said. 

      ”I have no words to console you. But I can promise you one thing. I will make sure that this situation never comes to my mom, or my wife’s mom, also my friends’ moms. And I promise you, I will do my best to change at least a few in the society by writing about this.”

      She held my hand near her eyes and said, 

      “This is what I expect from you. We are happy when you people come to visit us, we forget all our worries. And this is what we expect from you. Never forsake your mother.” 

      “I won’t” I promised 

      ”You will each great heights in writing and in whatever you do. You will live a blessed life” she gave her heartfelt wishes.

      I got her blessings and walked out with a heavy heart. Hers was not the only story, there were many other such similar stories buried in many a hearts.

      We cannot dismiss this incident as something that has happened in some corner of the world. These incidents happen in every nook and corner.  

      Every one of us love our mother and would do anything for her. We would take care of her till our last breath. But will we do the same for our spouse’s mother? Many women are moving or forced to move to Old Age homes due to harsh daughter/son in-laws. It’s high time we change our attitude. Mothers are blessings to family, never forsake them.

      Lets decide this day and promise this.. ”Never forsake your mother, father nor your mother /father -in-law”  and dont stop with your family.. there are your friends, friends of friends, relatives and the all people you know, enlighten them.

      Let’s work towards a society sans Old Age Homes. Let’s work towards making the world a better place to live. I have taken my oath.. How about you ?